The other day I decided to put myself in a very vulnerable position and separately ask my boys this question:
What do you wish mommy did more of:
1) kiss, hug, hold, and rub your back? (Physical touch)
2) tell you what I like about you, encourage you, tell you I love you? (Words)
3) spend more time with you doing stuff (time)
4) do things for you more like help you with little chores or surprise you by cleaning your room or make your favorite meal (service)
5) buy you more little surprises, toys, treats? (Gifts)
The quick and unanimous answer was TIME. That was a little difficult for me to hear: because that’s one of the hardest ones for me with them.
I’m around them all the time. So I don’t think that is what they meant. For them time spent together had a lot to do with my undivided attention.
I tend to go into task mode and plow ahead with the agenda, event, or schedule for the day and forget to just sit. And listen.
But we never find ourselves off a cliff without any warning signs first, and I would count this as just one more warning sign.
THESE DAYS ARE PRECIOUS.
THEY GROW UP SO FAST.
I WANT MORE TIME WITH YOU.
So I am trying to focus on that time factor this year.
Listening to them.
Letting them lead.
Following their direction.
And you know what I’ve found? That they eat it up.
I’m still a structured girl at heart so I set an alarm on my phone for 30 minutes. And I tell them for 30 minutes, or 15 or whatever time I have: it’s theirs.
And you know what? As the Rolling Stones said, that time is definitely on my side as time well spent!
Allison Zehnder has been theCross kids minister at theCross since July 2012. She organizes our Kids Church Program on Sunday mornings at theCross. Email her HERE.